When His Friends Are Evil…and Ruining Your Relationship
Ok, we have all known a guy or been friends with a woman who has a guy that has the most horrible anti-relationship friends in the world. These ”friends” encourage cheating, not calling you, going to strip clubs (or other places you may not be happy with) talks trash about women, and give the worst advice possible. You hate these friends because you know when your boyfriend or husband goes out with these friends he won’t call like he is supposed to, comes home too late, is intoxicated, spends too much money, or is so full of testosterone stupidity that you want to kill both him AND his friends.
This is understandable.
The problem is that women often ask “Why doesn’t his friend respect our relationship?” or “Doesn’t this person know that they are causing problems in our relationship?”. They may or they may not, the bottom line is THEY DON’T CARE.
They look at you the same way you look at them. They used to have a ball with your man, and now YOU came along and ruined it. They don’t feel they owe you shit. And they don’t. Your man is a big boy, this friend didn’t kidnap him, he went of his own free will. It is up to your MAN to make his friends and family respect your relationship. The friend mimics your man’s behavior and attitude. Don’t hate on the friend, DEAL WITH your man, let HIM deal with his friend. It is HIS job.
Don’t tell your man he needs to choose you or his friend, you need to tell him something different. You don’t care WHO he hangs out with, so long as he doesn’t ______ (insert bad behavior). Let him know you don’t blame the friend, but HIM. He needs to understand and so do you that even if this friend disappeared another bad influence could come along, and you are not hear to weed through his friends for the rest of his life. It is up to him to chose his friends, and behave accordingly WITH those friends, and if he can’t, he can KEEP his friends, but he is GOING to lose YOU.
Stop putting the focus on the friend, they are not the issue here. The final choices your man makes are his and his alone. His friend could set his balls on fire, so does that mean your man will as well? No, THAT he wont. He picks and CHOOSES what influence he allows his friends to have on him.
The same goes with you. If your girlfriends influence you to do things you know is going to piss off your husband or boyfriend, don’t throw your friends under the bus. You are a big girl, you need to take responsibility for the choices YOU make. If your friend is causing problems in your relationship, take it up with your friend. That is YOUR job. And don’t take too long because you may find yourself with friends but no boyfriend/husband!
