What Exactly Does He NEED You For?
Women have a tendency to want to be needed by the men in their lives. There should be no problem with that, we all want to be loved and needed. But needed for what exactly? If he needs you to pay his cell phone bill, or his house note or for financial help in general, that is not exactly the type of need that goes hand in hand with loved. That kind of need can go hand in had with “being used”. You want the man in your life to need you because he loves you, would be lost without you, and would have no one to share his thoughts and feelings with.
What you don’t want is him needing you in his life because he doesn’t want to get a job. Needing you in his life because he wants you to be his mother and cook and clean for him doesn’t work either. If a man really loves you he wants YOU to need HIM too. He wants to be your partner, not your employee that you have to pay to be there. Women often think if they help their man out in every way possible, that the man will be eternally grateful, will see how much she loves him and love HER all the more for it. He will never forget the kindness she has shown him and will do all he can to repay her. Yeah, ok. How often does THAT happen?
What happens more often then not is he takes everything she does for granted, and then feel he is entitled to it. He doesn’t feel grateful, just like a spoiled brat wouldn’t either. Then if she does begin to say no to his needs he gets pissed off! Wow, how grateful. The woman would be lucky to see a dime of the MONEY she has dished out, much less gratitude for doing it. A good rule of thumb for women: If you lose your mind and loan him money, don’t loan him another CENT until he has paid you back for the first loan IN FULL. If he doesn’t pay you back he basically stole from you. Do you want him to need you as the “Bank of Codependancy” or as a loving woman that he respects? Make sure he needs you for the right reasons, not the wrong ones.
clearly I can’t type but I wanted to post something anyway
so why bother?