What does it mean when your husband or boyfriend treats you like shit? It can mean a lot of things. It can mean he is a piece of shit, or he acts as though you are a piece of shit because he has seriously undervalued you and takes you for granted. One of the main things you should also look at is how OFTEN does he treat you like shit? Once a year, month, week, or several times a day? Let’s face it, we can all treat someone we love like garbage sometimes, although we all know we should not. If your boyfriend or husband is constantly and continually treating you bad you have to start wondering why he is treating you like garbage and why you are allowing him to treat you like garbage.
Is he having trouble at work, with his boss, friends, feeling sorry for himself, facing financial difficulties? Well boo hoo on him. Just because he is having a bad life right now doesn’t mean he should take it out on you and screw with your world and turn it upside down. He is supposed to come to you for comfort, not to make you his partner in misery. Stop making excuses for him because the poor baby isn’t happy right now. Tough. Don’t let him use whatever he us going though to make excuses for his behavior either. Clearly it’s time for him to be a big boy and deal with his problem rather than make problems for you.
By the same token, if he really is going through a rough patch, and you, for some reason feel the need to add to the drama in his life,knock it off. Don’t upset a hornets nest and not expect to get stung. But what if this behavior is the norm, not just random moodiness that we all have? What does it mean? It means you are in a dysfunctional relationship for one thing.
Women want to know WHY their boyfriend or husband treats them badly. They want to know the reason. What could a good reason possibly be? Is there one? Why isn’t the answer obvious? It’s really not that difficult to figure out. How many people do you love and respect that you treat like shit 90% of the time? None? Now ask YOURSELF why you don’t treat the people you love and respect like shit 90% of the time. Because you love and respect them? Because you know right from wrong? Because you are a good person? Because you would not want that person to leave you? Yes, those are all good reasons, and the reasons why people that love you don’t treat you like shit 90% of the time.
So you answered your own question, didn’t you? Obviously if he loved AND respected you, this would not be happening. Obviously if he treats the people in his life that love him like shit then he either doesn’t know right from wrong or just isn’t a good person. If he was afraid of losing you, he wouldn’t be treating you like this. He is taking you for granted, taking things out on you and he is getting away with it. So that’s it, that’s the bottom line. You can continue to search or wonder, but the truth is simple. He doesn’t love and respect you or he COULDN’T treat you this way. He WOULDN’T treat you this way if he was afraid of losing you. If he was a good person he wouldn’t treat someone that loves him like this. If he really cared about your feelings he wouldn’t hurt them. Now you need to start caring more about yourself, and less about him. Don’t think by doing more nice things he is going to be nicer to you. Don’t teach people they get the best of you when they give you nothing, or the worst of themselves. If you do, that is exactly what you will get.
Is he treating you like shit but everyone else in his life (even people he supposedly does not care for) is being treated well? If that is the case, it shows he knows how to treat others well, he just chooses to treat you like crap. Now the bigger question is, why are you accepting it? Instead of telling yourself how much you do for him, and others don’t, but he treats them better than you, tell yourself to stop treating HIM well. Treat him like he is nothing special, just like he treats you. Stop thinking the nicer, kinder, and more generous you are to him will make him stop treating you like shit. Haven’t you tested that theory enough? You have, and it is time to stop treating someone like gold when they treat you like shit.
So true. I am stabbed in the back by my Husband alot. He talks about me because he doesn’t work and I do so he has the kids. He talks to his family that I do not like. Laughs at me when I cry and so on. What to do…. Life can really suck. They are suppose to be your best friend. Ummm yeah
WOW Heather – you are working, feeding him and keeping a roof over his head and he treats you like this??? WOW – we have one word for him… and is starts with a capital A….. He needs to shut his piehole of a mouth and be grateful to have a great woman like you taking care of him.
I work 50-60 hours a week at work and then I also have to take care of the house work too. My “wife” works her normal 40 hour job and then “volunteers” 3-4 nights a week. She has done this for almost the entirety of our marriage. The volunteering used to serve a purpose for helping in her kids education. The kids are older now and do not require her to do this extra volunteer job. She is almost NEVER home. When she happens to be home all she does is play on the computer. Facebook games for at least 2-3 hours a day. She won’t even as much lift a finger to feed herself food and insists either I cook for her or go out and get her some food. She is an able bodied adult who refuses to do anything when it comes to putting in an ounce of effort around the house. I won’t sleep in the same bed with her anymore because all she does is poke me all night because she can’t sleep. Today she came home after i had already made supper. She does not communicate ANYTHING regarding meals if/when she’ll be home.
She then threw a tantrum and immediately insisted that I go buy her a sub sandwhich. She went up and down the stairs 10 times so i would go change the sheets on HER bed because there is grass on the bed and she has “allergies”. She claims she can’t make the bed herself because of her “back” yet she can come downstairs a full 13 steps. At least ten times in order to bitch at me about how she’s hungry and her bed needs to be made. Then she throws tantrums. I have never cheated on her, yet she claims she’s going to cheat on me, she verbally abuses and accuses me of every evil under the sun. She tells me to get out of HER house yet I pay the mortgage and it’s in both our names. I won’t drink and drive for numerous reasons, but will enjoy a couple drinks at home a few days a week. If i ever drink anything i get accused of being an alcoholic. She however can and does drink alcohol as much as she wants and is above reproach. She had 6 glasses of wine last Saturday night. There have been multiple occasions she’s had so much to drink I had to walk her mostly unconscious from the car to the bedroom. Recently about a year ago she was so drunk she was actually playing with her vomit in the sink. Everything in the world to her is a problem and is my fault for just being there. She tells me today she’s serving me “papers” this week. God I HOPE SO.
WOW dude.. what a psycho – and we are also hoping that you will be getting walking papers from her too. Seems like you are great guy who really goes above and beyond to try and make the home a nice place and she treats YOU like SHIT. Hopefully you will be rid of this biotch soon! GOOD LUCK
My partner constanly swears at me makes me feel like crap. doesn’t help with anything around they house just sits on the playstation when I say I’m bored he says go to bed then…n when I confront him he puts it bak on me and makes me feel even worst and threatens to leave me
WOW – does he need to have a rude awakening! We know where we would tell him to put that playstation
and you know what? when he threatens to leave show him the door… you would be better off for it because he knows how to manipulate the situation to make you feel bad.
This is so TRUE. Well I have a boyfreind that is my baby’s daddy NOW. That treats me like shit, anytime he wants stuff his way and I don’t do it or get him what he wants he’s gets mad and talks shit to me and puts me down. It seem like he treats other bitches and people better then me… And that hurts me because he is the first person that I really LOVE. But talks shit too me. When he gets drunk he says that, that’s why so an so listen or i’m jealous of them girls. And then he keeps telling me thats why he fucked 12 girl…when we was not together…THAT HURTS, BUT I DONT THINK HE CARE’S. So I tell him why don’t he go to them…AND I KNOW HE TREATED THEM CHICKS BETTER THEN ME…THAT REALLY HURTS…but i guess he’s a mean person that don’t care about me… But I don’t understand why he’s still with me and tells me he loves me…unless he’s playing with my heart…
Im not worried about no man anymore fuck them because I spent so much time and energy on trying to find a good man that I forgot about myself!! now Im loving me and im not taking any shit from nobody!
well my husband constently throwing in my face everything he does for me..he works and i dont so he constenly treating me like shit iv cought him plenty of times talking to woman on the computer or on the phone and he justafies it as its my fault cuz i dont work …he know all the medical isusse i have and you would think that would make him change but it dosent…one day he’s nice the next hes a total ahole…i dont know what to do..cuz hes my first love my sons father but he trats everyone else with so much respect but when it comes to me ….i dont get that i pray to god that he changes…
I have been with my boyfriend for ten months,and he treats me like shit. Everyone says I deserve so much better, and I agree that I do.. but I am so naive that I hope he will change.
He likes to throw everything wrong I do in my face (I am well aware of what I do wrong, I dont need him making them worse.) Then he will cuss at me, and he has posted statuses about me on Facebook that I was a whore. I told him the other day my parents were getting a divorce and he wasnt there for me at all when I when I needed him, (he never is). When he makes a mistake I am supposed to immediantly forgive him, and act like it never happened or I am a bad person and he will tell me that. When I do something wrong, he is mad at me for days.
He has called me viscious names, and he always tells me that he doesnt know if he wants to be with me, and he never talks to me. Its pretty much like he is just using me, but when I confront him with this he gets mad, but he cant tell me in person that he is mad. He only texts me. And the only time he will text me is when he is going off on me. He says it “kills him” to text me like a normal person; and in the ten months we have dated he has never called me beautiful. We never do any of the things that normal couples do and he always promises he will do stuff. But, he even said last night “a promise means nothing to him, and from him.”
He has already broken up with me 3 times, the first time was on our one month-aversary and he broke up with me for his ex, he didnt even tell me he just changed is relationship status on Facebook and blocked me and wouldnt talk to me, then he begged for me back a week later.. I took him back. Then we were okay for 7 months then he broke up with me again out of nowhere, we had been doing fine and just been getting over rumors about him cheating on me with another girl (I believed him the whole time.) and then we got back together 2days later, when he found me at the skatepark and begged again because he couldnt “live without me.” So then exactly a month to the day later he breaks up with me again, out of nowhere, we hadnt been fighting or anything, this time it took him a a little over a week to get back with me, and that was only because he was “jealous of other guys, and didnt want them to be with me.” After that, he acted so great and he was the boyfriend he had promised me he would be, he would always talk to me, and tell me he loved me, he would apologize when he was an ass, he would do want to hangout with me,and he would always kiss me.. it was basically like this newfound love. Well, that was a month ago, and about a week ago, he started going back to his old self, the one that tells me hurtful games, and mindgames me… and I cant just blame him because I am stupid enough to go back to him everytime; Because, he tells me “he loves me” everytime I try to leave. Chances are, he is going to break up with me again soon because, I just have this feeling, and honestly, I have no idea what I did..
I know a lot of people on this site have it worse then I do with there significant others, and I’m sorry about that because most of you feel I am just complaining about my problems; but, I just wanted to share my problems with everyone. (:
Don’t feel bad about posting your relationship problems and questions, we really encourage people to do so. People may have it worse that you, but they do not deserve being treated that way and neither do you. You have given him 10 months to be a good boyfriend, and he has failed. He has shown you how he really is, but it seems you either want to believe he is someone different or will change. Change is hard, change takes work, and this guy has no ambition to make any changes. He is not going to change how he treats you, he will only get worse over time. I hope you start surrounding yourself with people that treat you better and that YOU can be the one who ends this relationship for good.
Suck up for sex gets it ,then tosses me aside ‘ won’t be seen in public places
With me, says thgs to hurt me I’ve been married for 23 yrs I work night
Shift to stay away from him he works daylight shift I have to deal with
Him weekends but I stay in the bedroom and sleeP or I go to my sis
As. For kids well first 2 r out Of the house and to them dad does no wrong
And for my youngest she sees thgs he does but they don’t believe her
What do I do I’m tired of cryen
You need to leave the relationship. You gave him enough time to get it right, and he has not. Leave and find some happiness on your own, because you won’t find it with him.
well my boo and i recently broke up bc i caught him cheating. i found it thru his plenty of fish app where a girl sent him a msg saying she hope she wasnt too rough! i asked and he denied it and got mad and tried to prove his innocence. mind you i had just found out he was still talking to girls and trying to hook up. ironically we hadnt had sex in over 2 months bc he claimed he doesnt like to have sex all the time. when we first got together we had sex many times a day and he always bragged that he enjoyed sex. so since i knew he was lying i sent the girl a msg from his account asking what she was talking about. turns out he had a 3some with her and her friend. randomly! so he finally confessed and said sorry and i took him back but he said he wasnt ready for a gf so we broke up but thats the only thing that changed. he treats me like shit and i think he is still lying and cheating bc he doesnt come over as much and he is always textn girls and he is on the dating apps calling girls beautiful and asking for numbers. i wanna leave him but i love him and sometimes he is amazing and i love his kids. he never takes me out and when he does i have to pay. ill buy him gas so he can come over and even beer and cigarretts and he still wont. he will call at 2am saying he just been outside in his truck drinking and smoking. im so fed up with him but something holds me to him. i know i deserve better and i threaten to leave him but he is not phased. its like hes only nice to get money and food and then hes a jerk again. and i am accused of cheating all the time when all i try to do is spend time with him and make him happy. and since he cheated we have only had sex 1 time. thats once in the last 4 months. wtf. im so dumb for staying but i love him and he says he loves me too. i just cant see it…
He does not love you, or he would not treat you that way. How can you love him if he treats you this way? It does not matter how much you love his kids. What matters is you are wasting all you have to give on someone who does not deserve it. Find the strength to get out of this situation. It is not going to get better. You tested that theory enough, haven’t you? You know he cannot give you what you deserve, so why not go and find someone who can? If you think you love this guy, imagine how you would feel towards someone who loved you back.
hello… so me and my (asshole) boyfriend have been together for 10 months.everything was fine till about 4 months ago when we continually fight…..he treats me beyond shit he calls me names he is ssoo mean to me calls me a dumbass stupidass idiot a bitch.he is always threatenin me oh and he disrespects me in front of his family alll the time…..i cant ask him a question without him gettting mad anytime i wana talk about something he always gets mad he yells at me he tells me im in the wrong….i seem to be the one who is always at fault.he always blames me for everything…even if i ask him “what r u doing” he responds with u know wat the fuck im doin y r u asking…i dont know what to do anymore i always try to be nice to him i talk to him in a good way yet it still my fault i do everything wrong…then if i do it in return he wants to end it with me…..this morning i was suppose to help him move i have a truck but i have something heavy on it that i cant do by myself i ask him to come help me and he says no fuck i didnt know it was gna be such a huge deal to use your truck so now im in the wrong again and its my fault..ive been so miserable and unhappy i stopped caring i dont know what to do….he treats everyone else around him perfect but i always get hung up on ……in march i have a decision to move bak again to california or stay out here and let this nightmare continue… i told him about the move and he says “i dont know”i tell him y do u treat me like this he said if u dont fucken like it then get the fuck on…….please help me with advice…he has made my self esteem lower then dirt ….i feel insecure ugly not worthy ….i dont feel any kind of good for myself….my friends and fam tell me to leave him but i cant
ohh and ive bend over backwards for him…..i have climbed to the moon and back for him ive been soo nice and caring i go out of my way to do things for him when i tell him he sayd thats ur dumbass fault noone told u to…he takes me for granted i have trust issues with him…i just wanted to also say i treated him like gold and he has never really gone out of his way for me…….he turned me into the most angry low self esteem person ever…he always telle me if i dont like something then theres the door…..
Maybe this venting will make me feel better…my boyfriend for 5 years now treats me like shit. He always makes up excusses why he doesn’t want to visit my family and friends. He sees his friends alot. He has taken my car my parents have given me put it under his name and goes ‘hustles’ drugs all the time. We have two children together 2 and 7 months! I stay home with them because we cannot afford daycare and he promised he could take care of me. He doesn’t pay my bills. Like one credit card our cell phone bill and a TV I financed. Everything is under my name because he has such bad credit. I wised up though and stopped that. Good thing I did because he can’t pay his cable bill now he begged me to put under my name. He owes my parents money and doesn’t pay them a dime. When all this started, him selling drugs and being insecure, left him and dated someone else for a while. I met the man while we were still together though. So I see where he could not trust me but I’m the mother of his children Nd I show him lots of love. Why doesn’t he let me go to the store? Why can’t I visit my friend that is married and have a playdate with ourI kids? Its 2:17 am and he’s not home! He slept all day. I woke up with the kids played with them cooked cleaned etc. Then around 5 I told him wake up I want some attention. Straight up I’m a good talker. He didn’t wake up for me.but he gets a “sale” call from his boy and up he jumps on the drop of a dime for them. He’s a great dad but damn I’m miserable. He even will ask why I have makeup on or tells me to change when I feel nice. When I was in college he would expects me home like 30 mins after my last class. Ever heard of studying? Can’t do it at home with a lazy ass and two kids. Which I’m not in college anymore bc he has to have the car for work. When we first got together I use to bring him to work then go to my classes then pick him up after work. Why can’t I do that now? He’s so selfish. Im too big of a wuss and too nice of a woman to put my foot down and just take the car wherever I need to go bc he would jump up and come rush me wherever I was and fight with me on the way there on how he never goes out too. I tell him, “you visit your friends why can’t I visit mine?” Then he expects Mr to beloved they’re not my friends and I don’t hang out. Well everybody he ain’t home at2:30 and HD left