He Would NEVER do THAT to ME! Oh Really…?

Really? What makes you so special?

I had a friend once who always used to talk trash about her other friends to me. She and her family would rip them apart and make them the butt of their jokes. I thought since I was her best friend in the world she wouldn’t do that to me.

I was exempt.
I was special.
I was WRONG.

Who was I to think that someone that had an extreme tendency to bad mouth everyone in her life yet smile and be sweet to their face wouldn’t do that me? Can someone really be expected to be one way with everyone else on planet earth but change their behavior for one person? We are who we are, if we are gossipers, is anyone off limits? Doubtful.

Then why are we not alarmed when we see the men in our lives treat another woman or a past relationship with cruelty? Why don’t we think “That could be me someday!” Instead we smile our inner Cheshire cat grins when we hear them bad mouth an ex or treat an ex like shit.

I spoke with a friend of mine the other day who was laughing hysterically and so filled with glee when she was telling me a story about how her current boyfriend called his ex a cunt (while he was on the phone with his ex). I thought the word was a bit harsh so I asked her “why did he call her that?” She told me that he was angry because the ex canceled his email account (that the ex was paying for).

I said “Let me get this straight, he is LIVING with YOU, having sex with YOU, but he expected HER to pay for his email account? Why didn’t he get his OWN since he has been with you?” She thought that was irrelevant but I disagree. He couldn’t get off his lazy ass and open up even a FREE email account but got mad at his ex for not supporting him? He felt SHE deserved to be called a cunt?

I think a guy who is living with another woman but allowing another woman to pay for his email is a cunt, ok?

She then told me he was mad because his ex didn’t TELL him she was closing it. I asked her if he told the ex (who he is still married to BY THE WAY) he was living and fucking another woman. She said no.

Now my friend is so focused on feeling wonderful that her man hates his ex, which makes her feel secure, instead of looking at the simple fact that this guy doesn’t take any responsibility for his own email account. He pointed the blame at someone else when if he would have taken care of his OWN shit, this never would have happened in the first place. She should be wondering what it will take to call HER a cunt. Obviously not that much, huh? Should she think that he “would never do that to HER?” No. But she does.

When my friend first met this guy it was innocent enough, but he very quickly started telling her all about how horrible his wife was. I mean example after example after example. I told her to watch out, he is doing it to get your sympathy. He likes you and very well may be unhappy in his situation but what he is really doing is making you feel so bad and so sorry for him that you will OVERLOOK the fact that he is married man trying to cheat on his wife. And it obviously worked. I told her she should just tell him she doesn’t want to hear his horror stories anymore. What is the point in talking about it if he isn’t going to do something about it? (side note: he is living with her but hasn’t YET filed for divorce from his “horrible” wife.)

What my friend, and all of you need to really think about is what kind of person goes on and on and on about his past relationships? If you spoke to a man continually about how bad one of your exes was

he would get pissed off real quick and tell you to knock it off. Why then do women want to hear all the gory details? Is it because we want verification that they won’t get back together?

Why don’t we look at the man as someone who allowed himself to be abused and is going to come to us with some SERIOUS baggage? It takes two people to be in a dysfunctional relationship, and if they are both in a dysfunctional relationship, then they are BOTH dysfunctional in some way. Sure, if they got out of it within a reasonable time that is one thing, but what made them stay? That they are a nice person who was victimized, or was there something in this persons make-up that attracted them to this sadistic behavior and what KEPT THEM THERE?

We have all been in fucked up relationships (well many of us anyway) but we all need to watch out or we will be in ANOTHER ONE. Why isn’t this woman hearing alarm bells warning her that he could do the same thing to her. He could decide SHE is evil and seek out the company of another woman and then tell THAT woman tons of horror stories about HER? Why, when she found out his relationships OVERLAP didn’t she think that if she and this guy don’t work out he WILL cheat on her like he did all the others before he broke things off with them? Why doesn’t she worry about being a rebound relationship when he was obviously had them before? Because they are “different”? Special? Connected? Please, all his other rebounds THOUGHT THE SAME THING.

Because “he would never do that to HER?” Are you kidding? He may not do that to her NOW. But one day he sure as hell will.