He Owes You an Apology and Needs to be Sorry
We all want an apology. We want to know the person that hurt us is sorry, and won’t ever do it again. We want them to know how much we hurt and that they never want to make us feel that pain again. Words won’t always do the trick, quite often we need to see remorse through the person’s actions and behavior. Forgiveness is not always immediate. Many times we need time to nurse our wounds to optimize healing.
What if you are in a relationship with someone who does not know how to apologize worth a shit, and pretty much acts like you should get over it, rather than put forth the energy to convince you they feel bad about what they have done? Do you use the “He doesn’t know how to express himself well, but I know he feels bad” excuse? You shouldn’t.
If you did something to hurt or upset him, could you get away with using that excuse? Probably not. So why can he? If you can go through all the pain your boyfriend or husband caused you and put it the effort to forgive him, why would you bother if he isn’t even sorry?
Think about it. You won’t touch a hot stove after you have been burned because you got hurt. Why would he stop doing or saying something to you if he didn’t get burned as well? I’m not talking about revenge, I’m talking about his feeling bad (and showing it and saying it) and feeling remorse (and showing it and saying it). Otherwise why wouldn’t you think he would hurt you again?
It has to cost him SOMETHING because it cost you a lot of tears and heartache. Should he have to pay somehow?
Now if he does the same things over and over and over again but you get the apologies, tears and good behavior it is just as bad. His words and actions are hollow, without any meaning. The truth of the matter is that if someone loves you they naturally feel bad about it, they naturally act remorseful, and they naturally want to make it up to you. It is not an act!!!
If they do it again and again after seeing how much it hurts you, watch you cry, and see your pain, you must accept that this person doesn’t care about your feelings. You owe it to yourself to care about you because he doesn’t.
Everyone screws up sometimes, and will do or say something stupid and hurt the person they are involved with. How each person handles it is different. Every relationship will have problems, so a big important part of a relationship is how those problems are handled. If he handles them like shit then you must accept that this behavior will continue throughout the relationship.
Maybe it is time to apologize to yourself for being with him in the first place and sorry for the fact that you let him do this to you again and again. If you really mean it, then you will dump this rectal swab and find someone better.
He does not really apologize to me when he screws stuff up I have to always be the one that tries to fix the relationship…so I do because I don’t want to lose him.
I feel like my feelings and pain are sometimes secondary to him…in part because he doesn’t think I should be hurt or angry because a female friend/co-worker flirts on Facebook with him in front of all their co-workers…to him it’s funny and they are just joking but it’s not a joke for her. I’ve seen it when she looks at him. He says nothing has ever happened,or ever would because he loves me and he’s married and she is married…But it still hurts me that he allowed the flirting to go on especially on a very public site viewed by co-workers etc… This really hurt me because that’s something I would never do to him because its hurtful and disrespectful of him, our friends,our families,and co-workers… I forgive him but I hate her because she knew what she was doing was affecting our marriage and she thinks it’s funny.It’s a game for that sicko. He seems remorseful but I still feel hurt because he lied and said they weren’t still friends but they were for over a year… He did go to her at work with me there and tell her he couldn’t be friends with her anymore because it was affecting his marriage…She was obviously upset,said it wasn’t fair all teary eyed, and threw things around and said he wasn’t worth all her time which in female terms means she’s pissed she put in all that effort getting close to him but didn’t get the return on her investment that she had planned on. Honestly I kind of forced the issue…There would’ve been a physical confrontation at his work between she and I had he not put an end to the situation right then… Thankfully he did.
OH MY GOD!!!! We hate her too. Holy smokes! We hope he crawled across broken glass to get back to you. And very smart of you to go to work with him and make him confront the biotch. YES she did have greater designs on him than just friendship and all her little plans have now gone awry. SUCKS to be HER. Also unfortunate she had to do it on FB and risk ruining his work ethic and reputation also – wow — they could have lost their jobs over this.