Maintaining your Dignity!
Pity is Never Pretty
You and your significant other have broken up for what seems like the last time. It looks as though it is truly over and he has closed the door. But what woman doesn’t feel the same way? What if she wants more than anything to get back together with her ex?
Many women then feel they need to turn up the melodrama before it is too late and he finds someone new. They constantly call the ex. They want to talk about getting back together every chance they can. Everyday they wake up with the fear that he is one step further away and they have to get him back NOW before it is too late!
There are many problems with this approach. First, there is only so much you can do to get him back in the first place. Your ex has his own free will, and it is up to HIM to choose if and when he gives you another shot. He may never want to give you a chance to reconcile.
Women need to be aware of the fact that sometimes it is simply too little too late. Sometimes you have no control over the situation. He is no longer interested in a relationship. Women have this tendency to believe men will be attracted to grand gestures because that is what women want men to do to win them back. Men really don’t go for that.
Nine times out of ten you’re crying hysterically for days, camping outside of his house, begging, grovelling, telling him your life has no meaning without him. You tell him you can’t eat or sleep….you write him notes and letters but that makes them feel uncomfortable and pity you. Pity is not attractive and makes you LESS attractive.
If you really have done something wrong and given him a reason to leave you, give him some time to cool down. Men give women time to cool down because that is what they want. Find a way to let him know how sorry you are, what you are willing to do to make it up to him, what you are going to do differently and that you are giving him some time to think about it and that you hope he will be in touch. And then SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE. Wait to make your next move.
When you keep calling your ex, they will turn on you, often becoming vicious, because they feel they are being harassed. We know a woman who was so desperate to have this guy, even though he told her he did not want a relationship with him, that she was throwing herself at him. She would call him all the time; stalk him on Facebook; break into his Facebook; call his new girlfriend; beg him to see her even though he kept telling her to leave him alone. Finally one day he told her how pathetic she was and that her life was just not worth living and that she should just go and kill herself. And guess what? She STILL wanted him. So when you harass them, they begin to hate you, and any chance you ever had (if indeed you had one) goes out the window.
When you begin to make yourself pathetic and set yourself up for him to treat you like garbage it is time to stop. It’s over. No, he is NOT going to feel guilty. Showing him and telling him how much you are hurting and miserable after awhile just PISSES HIM OFF. He doesn’t feel responsible and gets mad at you for trying to make him feel guilty.
And who the hell would be stupid enough to think that if an ex got back together with you because they felt sorry for you that it would last? (Hopefully no one anymore.) It is hard enough to deal with a break up without making it worse by making a fool out of yourself. Deal with a break up and a reconciliation like an adult, not a melodramatic soap opera character. MEN DON’T WATCH SOAP OPERAS, they certainly don’t want to LIVE in one!
After reading this I realized I need to keep my emotions in check. When I don’t, I act irrationally and it causes more problems than it solves.
So glad I found this blog there is so much good information here.
After reading this article, i realize that I should stop nagging my husband and get over what had happen. cause this feeling stress and depressed is not helping the situation, it’s making it worse. He told me it’s over with the other woman that it was just a fling and he loves me.