Are You Compatible? Part 1
A friend of ours had a profile set up at an online dating site. She showed us the emails she was getting from men that were interested in her on the website. She put on her profile that they could ask her any questions they liked and she would answer them if they wanted to get to know her. (As long as the questions were relevant and not offensive)
The most common questions she was asked were :
1) What kind of movies do you like?
2) What kind of music do you like?
3) What do you like to do for fun?
4) What do you do for a living?
Almost all of them said they wanted this information to know more about her and if they were compatible.
Really? Are these some important criteria for compatibility in couples? No. It would be great if you share the same taste in music, but has a couple ever broken up because they didn’t? I’m sure music can bring people together, but would you turn down a date or end a relationship with someone because they like Jazz and you don’t? Same with movies. Even if a man doesn’t like chick flicks, won’t he go see one or watch a rental of one with his girlfriend or wife? Wouldn’t most women go see an action flick because their boyfriend is dying to see it? Sure. Its great if you both like the same movies, but is it really a criteria for compatibility? No, it is not. Do couples really have the same music in their ipods or do they each have songs the other would rather not listen to? Of course they do. Sure, sharing common interests in music and movies is a great thing, but is it really a sign of compatibility?
Next, is the question ” what do you like to do for fun?”. Ok, show of hands, do YOU like concerts, the beach (for talking walks on or swimming or whatever), movies, and amusement parks? Bet you liked at least 2 or 3 out of 4, if not all. Who doesn’t like concerts? Very, very few people. Almost everyone likes movies that’s why movies make SO MUCH MONEY. Amusements parks most people like too, but how often do you GO to an amusement park? Once of twice a year? Why not just say you like to take free trips to tropical islands? You too? Wow, we must be COMPATIBLE. Yeah, amusement parks and movies are they key to successful relationships. I can understand what someone does for a living as a question, but really, it’s not that your jobs have to be compatible, but that the person HAS a job that might be part of your criteria for compatibility. If you are looking for an intellectual level, education level, or financial status, great, but their job and your job don’t need to be compatible.
People think that when they are dating, the fact that they like to eat at the same restaurants, and laugh at each others jokes and have lots to talk about makes them compatible. When you are dating you go out to eat a lot, however, when you are in a relationship, you may not. So dining tastes do not make for compatibility. At the beginning you have a lot to talk about, but both parties also leave a lot out, don’t they?
In part 2 and 3 we will delve deeper (instead of this superficial bullshit like movies and music) about what makes people compatible, and what DOESN’T.
