Why for God's Sake are You Going Out With Him?
If He is Not Over His Ex He Can’t Get Too Into You
That bastard. He was dating you and everything was going great. He made references to the future things you would be doing together. He told you what a rotten bitch his ex girlfriend was. He told you this was different and he was happy. So were you. Now he tells you he is ending it because he and his ex girlfriend are going to give it another try? That bastard.
Yes, he is a bastard. He had no business dating you if he wasn’t over his ex. There is no way he didn’t know that he wasn’t over her, and for him to say he didn’t know would be a lie. We all know when we are not over someone and haven’t moved on. We may want to be ready to move forward with someone new, but that does not mean we are ready. But now what about you? Did you miss any red flags?
Did you ask him when his last relationship ended? If he said less than 6 months that should have been a red flag for you. (Anything less than 2 months should have been a TRIPLE red flag for you!) Did he describe their relationship as an on/off relationship where they have broken up a million times but kept getting back together? Did you ask if either he or his ex girlfriend were dating other people? HUGE RED FLAG! Didn’t you worry that you were a part of their break up/ get back together pattern? Were they trying to be “friends” while he was dating you? SUPER RED FLAG!
Having a friendship with a recent ex makes it very difficult to move on and you have to ask “Why do they want to be friends?”
How did you miss these red flags? You shouldn’t be that blind. You should not dismiss the risks. Yes, he is a bastard, but you saw the huge chance that he could be one, so why did you let him in? Was it because you were afraid if you didn’t act now that he would find someone else or go back to his ex? People need time for closure, and to shut the door on their past relationships, otherwise the new ones become rebound relationships. Rebounds rarely, and I mean rarely, ever work out.
Please don’t do what he has done. When you know you are still into someone, and are not over them, you have no business do you have dating someone else and giving them the impression you are emotionally available to them and over your ex. The decent thing for both men and women to do is wait, then start dating again.
Excellent points altogether, have a new reader for sure!